Level 0 → 5

FIELD GUIDES

Short, plain explanations of the boring bits, for people who have never bought a share. They are numbered by level — take the one that matches where you are, not the one that sounds clever.

13 guides are up so far. That's the whole shelf for now — more when there's something worth writing.

Level 0 · Hatchling

4 written
Level 0 · 8 min
Growth or dividends? Match the portfolio to your paychequeGrowth probably suits you better than it suits the goblin. The test is your payslip, not your personality.
Level 0 · 6 min
What a dividend actually isA company makes money, keeps some, posts you the rest. That's it. Here's the whole thing with one boring example and zero jargon.
Level 0 · 7 min
Does it even pay a coupon?The one question that filters out most of the internet's investing pitches, and why a good growth company passes it just as easily as a dividend payer.
Level 0 · 7 min
Why this site shows real numbersWhy the goblin publishes the real ledger rather than round numbers and vibes, and where to go to see the cuts sitting at the same weight as the wins.

Level 1 · Scavenger

2 written
Level 1 · 7 min
Cash cushion firstWhy the emergency fund comes before the first buy, whichever lane you picked, and how your payslip decides how big it has to be.
Level 1 · 9 min
Your first £100 of boring yieldWhere the goblin put his first hundred quid and why, what the first payment looked like, and which bits of it apply whatever you decided to buy.

Level 2 · Hoarder

1 written
Level 2 · 8 min
Why the goblin buys funds, not stock picksWhy the goblin buys bags of names with a stated job, why the same argument makes an index fund the sane growth-lane default, and the honest exception sitting in the cave.

Level 3 · Collector

3 written
Level 3 · 8 min
Fat months, thin months: building a payment calendarHow to build a payment calendar that still pays in the thin months, using the goblin's real year rather than a made-up one.
Level 3 · 8 min
What is a freedom number?The annual income that would cover your life, worked from the goblin's Thai cost-of-living tiers and the number the cave actually aims at.
Level 3 · 8 min
Reinvest or spend? The snowball, honestlyDRIP versus taking the cash, run through the goblin's actual snowball, including the bit where "reinvest off" means the machine stops.

Level 4 · Cave Lord

2 written
Level 4 · 8 min
When the income covers a bill: what changes and what doesn'tWhat actually changes when dividend income covers a real bill, what stubbornly doesn't, and why the goblin is still feeding the pile.
Level 4 · 8 min
Cuts happen: reading a dividend history like a grown-upHow to read a real dividend history, including the years a total dipped without the commitment being cut, using the four records on the hoard.

Level 5 · Wealth Goblin

1 written
Level 5 · 8 min
Work optional is not retirementWhy "work optional" is a cashflow date rather than a retirement age, tied to the manifesto, and why the goblin still is not there.
Not sure which oneTHE LADDER TELLS YOU WHERE YOU ARESix rungs, in order, with what it takes to climb each one.
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